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Montage February 5, 2013

Posted by Natasha in motherhood.
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And suddenly, three months have passed February 5, 2013

Posted by Natasha in motherhood.
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How do I even begin to sum up three months in one blog post? I will write a summary and come back with details at a later stage. Hopefully before his first birthday!

Elliott was born by emergency c section at 37+4, on Nov 9th. I had been diagnosed with pregnancy induced hypertension, and was scheduled for induction on Nov 8th. Turns out my body wasn’t quite ready to not be pregnant just yet, because it stubbornly refused to go into labour.  By lunch time on Nov 9th, I was in the early stages of pre eclampsia, so the decision was made to schedule surgery. At 5:14pm, our baby made it earthside, and made me a mother.

Unfortunately, Elliott wasn’t ready to come out yet either, despite being full term, his lungs were immature and he was a sick little baby. He was transferred to a NICU in the city, before I had even had a cuddle.

I begged my doctor the next morning to let me out of bed so I could go see him, and I was allowed to. Loaded with pain meds, I shuffled in to meet my son.

Despite the overwhelming machinery, I could only see my tiny baby.  He was here, and he was safe.

My first cuddle wasn’t until he was two days old, and although belated, is a memory I will cherish until the end of my days. Nothing about this crazy journey had prepared me for that moment of sheer, unadulterated bliss. It was the moment I had waited for.

His first feed a few days later made me determined to succeed with breastfeeding. Unfortunately, true to form, I couldnt will my body to do anything, and my milk never came in. I persisted for four weeks before, heartbroken, I admitted defeat.

Soon after, he came back to his birth hospital, and a few days later we were allowed home together. He is a dream baby, and from the beginning has slept well and seldom cries. I joked that after everything we had been through, that we deserved a bit of a break, but I honestly believe that he is the most precious of rewards.

Elliott is thriving.  He has grown from his 3.8kg birthweight to double this in just 12 weeks. He smiles and chuckles, and chatters away in his precious baby voice, and loves cuddling into my chest. 

My son is here and he has changed the way I see the world.

This is it November 16, 2012

Posted by Natasha in motherhood.
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This it it.

This is why I did it. Why I poked myself with needles, spent all that money, had all those tests, took all those drugs, cried all those tears, waited. Waited. Waited. Tried, tried again. And again.

Because if I hadn’t. If I had ever succumbed to those niggling voices. If I hadn’t forced myself to pick myself up from the depths of despair, if I had given up…

Then I wouldnt be sitting here tonight, snuggling my tiny son to my chest, one week after he was born, spending our first night together, hearing him breathe, feeling him move against my skin, listening to his tiny sighs, squawks and grunts, falling in love with him more and more as each second passes.

I am shedding many more tears tonight. But for the first time, they are tears of relief, and pure, unadulterated joy.

Elliott is here.

It Is Time November 9, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Life.
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Today is our baby’s birthday.

He’s not here yet but he will be soon.

I’ll share more soon.

Full Term November 5, 2012

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Well here we are at the end.

In many ways, the end of this pregnancy is shaping up to be just like the beginning… Obsessive checking for any little sign, increasing nausea, constant need to sleep/insomnia, lack of energy, the dreams and nightmares that haunt me in the wee hours… The list goes on.

But there is something else.

The kicks, rolls and punches that are sometimes so strong they shock me and make me jump. Being able to press on my belly and distinguish between a bum or a foot.

The knowledge that by next week I should be holding this baby in my arms…

Back up. Next week?

Yep. My blood pressure continues to buggerise around, so I’m being induced next week. I was admitted to hospital overnight last week, and while Fuzzy is fine, my body is increasingly less so… So next week it is.

Lets see if there really is a baby at the end of this.

So, an update, hey? October 16, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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It has been a busy busy busy few weeks.

3 weeks ago was the start of my holidays, which triggered a bit of a nesting frenzy. The house is only ever that clean in June or November, right around the time that reports are due. I got to catch up on glorious sleep, and decided I quite like this staying at home business.

Finally, I caved and asked the doctor for something that might help this relentless heartburn and nausea. Throwing up blood at 31weeks pregnant really isn’t my idea of super happy fun times. The maxalon is of questionable effectiveness, but the Zantac is a wonder drug.

I had my baby shower, which was a day spent eating tasty food and hanging out with great people. Fuzzy was incredibly spoilt, which is a trend I am certain will continue.

Then I had to go back to work. Ugh… You know when you just lay down in bed and get comfy, and you realise that you forgot to do something important but unpleasant, and that you have to get up and deal with it?? Yeah, going back to work was somewhat like that. I met my replacement, as did the kids. There was snarkiness and attitude from them, from one particularly lovely little thing, there were tears. Very cute.

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday brought celebrations and more gifts from my years 7s, subschool team, colleagues and year 8s, respectively. There was also a LOT of cake!

And then I was done. For the first time since 1998, I didn’t have a workplace to be at on Monday.

First antenatal class on Saturday was interesting, if slightly repetitive of things I already knew from my.. Ahem… Slightly obsessive reading/foruming/blogging/googling etc. Things got rather more eventful after we left, when I noticed my rings that had been falling off me only that morning, were now cutting into fingers that had exploded to look like fat little sausages. With ‘sudden swelling’ one of the things I was told to look for, I popped into a chemist to check my BP, only for it to come up as too high to read on two separate machines. Back to the hospital for monitoring, my BP was back to the high end of normal (so, normal for me), which was great, but they did a precautionary CTG, during which Fuzzy decided to jump around like a crazy thing, and prove that he was just fine in there, thanks very much!

Yesterday was our 34 week growth scan. And grow… That’s something that ‘little’ Fuzzy has done in spades. He is currently measuring at about 6pd10oz – or between 37 – 38 weeks. His head is 38+4, or off the charts in other words. I… Am kind of clenching in anticipation. That sounds painful. Plan of attack will be discussed on Friday when I see the dr again.

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And now it’s nearly 6am, I’ve been awake for over an hour, taken my forgotten Zantac so hopefully this heartburn will settle soon, so I might try that amazing thing called sleep!

32 weeks October 2, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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32 weeks. That sounds like someone who is significantly pregnant. And indeed it appears I am. Yesterday a brave former coworkers dared to offer me congratulations, so either she is jut very brave, or I’m finally at that point where the bump says baby.

People ask me how I’m feeling, tell me that im glowing. These are the people that see me between 10am and around 9pm. At these times, I’m usually feeling pretty great. But after that, the opposite happens. The whinge d’jour is heartburn. Oh my goodness, it is awful. And also why I am currently sitting on my recliner wide awake at half past three. The poor dog is quite unsettled by me being out of bed, and I don’t think Mr G knows what to do with me either, bless him, I know he’d take over in an instant given the chance.

Bubs continues to do well, as far as I know. He will have a stretch of days of being lovely and active, jumping around and making me giggle with his big kicks. He tends to spend his says head down bum up, and nights sideways, at least if the kicks are anything to judge by. Then he has quieter days that worry me, but if I stop and concentrate, I can still feel him moving around. Growing boys need their rest, I suppose.

55 days until D day, and 65 max until we get to meet this little person.

In our last semester of Uni before graduation, we had a lecturer explain to us that the reason final semester was such a PITA was to help us be ready to be forcibly ejected into reality. I think third trimester is doing the same thing. I could really have spent a long time in second trimester, enjoying being pregnant. I am still enjoying it, each little kick, each little milestone, each little moment that makes me feel like a Mum is a highlight in my day. But I am uncomfortable, and I am so ready to meet our little man.

Single digit countdown September 20, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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I checked my pregnancy app before, and it told me there are 9 weeks and 4 days before D day.

This little person who is currently wriggling around in my belly is going to need to come out.

There is a BABY in there!!

Third Trimester August 25, 2012

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Going about things mathematically (40 weeks divided by three = 13w2d per trimester), today (26w5d) I officially ticked over into third trimester.

Mind = Blown

Fuzzy celebrated by waking me at 5:30am doing some kind of weird somersault. I’m sure Mr G thinks I’m strange when I wake up giggling, but it is really funny to think that there is a little person jumping around in there!

So, on the first day of the last trimester, this is where I’m at:

Morning Sickness – Mostly alright, most of the time. Haven’t thrown up since mid last week. Still not sure if I’ve seen the end of it. Suspect not. Don’t really care, as it’s easy to deal with.

Energy/Fatigue – have realized as I get more tired now that this has actually been pretty great for the last 6 or so weeks. Seems a little unfair that the nesting bug would hit at the same time as increased tiredness though!

Discomfort – not bad at all, really. I waddle a little (ok, a lot, especially when he’s wedged down low in my pelvis) but I haven’t had any rib pain, the aching joints have mostly settled apart from my dodgy knee, which has flared, and I definitely don’t feel huge yet. That long torso is handy for this pregnancy thing!

Health – had a shocking flu over my birthday, which lingered for almost ten days, the cough lasting much longer still. I’m still coughing a bit in the mornings. Had a scare in the last few days with one of my students getting slapped cheek virus (parvovirus). The doctor doesn’t seem to be particularly worried, but is doing blood tests to check my immunity. If I get it, it will mean extra monitoring for bubs.

Fuzzy – is growing super fast! In the last two weeks he has settled into very noticeable sleep/wake patterns, and the movements have become very strong. So much so, that I’ve actually spotted my whole belly contorting from time to time! He still likes to hang out down on my bladder, but it’s fun when he moves up. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t settled on one position as yet, as the movements are all over the place. Last week I felt 4 distinct prods on either side of my belly, like he was doing a biiiiig stretch! My belly is pretty wide, it amazed me that he could be so big already!

Worries – money. Enough said.
GD – have my one hour glucose test on Friday. Pretty sure, for no real reason, that I’m not going to pass it.
Fuzzy’s size – he’s a big boy. Perhaps this has triggered my worry about GD? I know that neither I or the donor are small (6 foot 1 and 6 foot 5 respectively), but I am a bit worried about delivering such a whopper!
C-section. I really don’t want one. Not being able to drive over Christmas would be really tough, and I worry about the recovery as a plus-sized girl (it’s meant to be harder apparently).
The dog. He’s a neurotic little thing. Barks constantly. No idea how that’s going to work with a sleeping baby!
The wedding I’m photographing at 30 weeks. 7 hours of squats. Bride & groomzilla. 30 weeks pregnant. Yeah, fun.

Excited about – everything. Only 24 more days of work left, and I’ve planned some serious nesting!
Midwife appointments, birthing classes, setting up the nursery properly, washing all the tiny clothes. 34 week scan. Getting huge (yes this actually excites me – I am really loving being pregnant and know I’ll feel a bit sad when it’s over).

More than anything though, I’m excited about meeting our son.

Unexpected benefits July 28, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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I’ve been overweight for as long as I can remember. In the last ten years, very much so.

This has brought an unexpected benefit to my pregnancy… I am not struggling at all with my body and the changes it’s undergoing – quite the opposite actually, I think it’s great! Now admittedly, in the last 23 weeks I’ve lost 9 kg, and only recovered one so far, in the last week. So it’s not like I’m dealing with ballooning. But even if I was, I wouldn’t care. Stretch marks? So what? Saggy bits? Eh, who cares.

It’s nice, for once in my life, not to be worried about this stuff.

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