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Waiting August 5, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility.
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I’m sure that others have written more, and more eloquently about the waiting aspect of an ART cycle.

But god it sucks.

I have waited for an initial consult, waited to be financially and mentally ready to start a cycle, waited for another appointment, waited for screening results, waited for nurse appointments, waited for blood test results, waited for ultrasound results, waited for my levels to rise appropriately, waited for the next pregnancy announcement to pull the rug out from underneath me again…

Right now I am waiting for tomorrow morning, when I will have the tests that confirm one of 4 things.

1. (Least desirable) – I have already ovulated. Cycle Cancelled

2. (Actually, just as undesirable) – I have overstimulated. Cycle Cancelled.

4. (Ok, but frustrating nonetheless) – not quite ready, keep stimming.

3. (Please!!) Ready to trigger.

I’ll let you know this time tomorrow.

I am sitting here with heavy ovaries (interesting to now be aware that *that* is what that feeling is. I’m terrified.

I feel like I’m caught in an IF no-man’s land. I knew the first time I slept with my DH, that there was no chance that it would ever lead to a pregnancy. I knew then that we were infertile.

I still hoped.

This August marks two years since I first cried at a negative HPT.

One year since I was so, so sure that ‘this one’ would be positive.

If number 4 eventuates, IUI will be Saturday morning. That takes the TWW out to the 22nd.

I’d really like a reason to like August.

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