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Fear (5w6d) April 1, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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I desperately want to escape the fear. Nurtured so carefully by years of infertility, the gradual decline of my faith in my body has lead me to this point.

I’ve started having vivid, awful dreams. Prior to last night, they were generally pretty abstract, or like the scene of a bad movie. But last night, continuous dreams of waking up bleeding. Dreams set very much in the here and now, nothing abstract, nothing surreal about them.

When will this stop feeling like make believe? Like fraud? When will I stop being afraid?

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