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8 Weeks (+1 day because I’m sleepy) April 17, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Uncategorized.
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Yesterday I clocked over 8 weeks. Only 4 or 5 (depending which website you read) weeks to go until the first trimester ends. Which I will be so very glad about, because to be honest, I’m struggling a little.

I’m not so scared any more. I know that seeing a beautiful heartbeat has dropped our odds of anything going wrong, combined with my age, to about the 5-10% mark. This is hugely relieving. I am feeling incredibly lucky to even have the following things to complain about in the first place. But this blog is really my only form of documentation, and I feel that it’s important to record everything.

Exhaustion freaking sucks.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m a tad over committed. My to-do list over the holidays looked something like a list that should be completed over the space of months, not 2 weeks. I’ve dropped a uni subject that was due to start next week, and have managed to wrangle a second extension on the essay that was due last week, so at least that gives me some breathing room… but everything else is giving way to sleep. I’m back at work as of yesterday, and I only worked to lunch time due to an appointment with the FS (which was fine – in and out in two minutes before I’d even had a chance to remember the various things I wanted to ask him) – then I went home and slept for 3 hours. By the time I sat down to do some writing, I squeezed out 120 words, and that was it. I could physically construct no more sentences. This is very unlike me. With the many things I need to do for work, they are just piling up. Literally. My pile of student work to assess has piled up to approach nearly a metre. That is terrible, and means I am not communicating my students’ achievement to them satisfactorily. And also means that in about 8 weeks, when my major reports are due to be submitted, as yet I have no data to inform them. And let’s not even talk about how much I am slacking off in the leadership role that I took on earlier this year. My lessons are suffering, my students have slacked off a little in response to me not being on the ball, I’m stupidly irritable, whereas I was previously known for my unfaltering patience. In short, I’m not doing a very good job. My house is a mess, I have a pile of clean laundry that has been sitting on the couch for about 3 weeks.

Gah, that ended up being a big whinge. I’m just finding it hard, and hoping that the reported return of my energy in a bit over a month is not just a fairy tale.

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Comments»

1. Mish - July 7, 2012

oh my goodness. i feel the same way right now! I cannot stay awake at all. i just put cleaner in the tub, i doubt i will scrub it tonight. please tell me your energy returned!

Natasha - July 7, 2012

It is back, to an extent. I have lost that drugged feeling that I had. Turned out I was severely vitamin d deficient, not sure if it made a difference, but since about 14 weeks I’ve felt much more awake. I get physically tired faster, but I’m nowhere near as sleepy đŸ™‚ Good luck!


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