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20 Week Scan July 10, 2012

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Face down, sound asleep. Looking perfect ❤

Photo time May 3, 2012

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8 Weeks (+1 day because I’m sleepy) April 17, 2012

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Yesterday I clocked over 8 weeks. Only 4 or 5 (depending which website you read) weeks to go until the first trimester ends. Which I will be so very glad about, because to be honest, I’m struggling a little.

I’m not so scared any more. I know that seeing a beautiful heartbeat has dropped our odds of anything going wrong, combined with my age, to about the 5-10% mark. This is hugely relieving. I am feeling incredibly lucky to even have the following things to complain about in the first place. But this blog is really my only form of documentation, and I feel that it’s important to record everything.

Exhaustion freaking sucks.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m a tad over committed. My to-do list over the holidays looked something like a list that should be completed over the space of months, not 2 weeks. I’ve dropped a uni subject that was due to start next week, and have managed to wrangle a second extension on the essay that was due last week, so at least that gives me some breathing room… but everything else is giving way to sleep. I’m back at work as of yesterday, and I only worked to lunch time due to an appointment with the FS (which was fine – in and out in two minutes before I’d even had a chance to remember the various things I wanted to ask him) – then I went home and slept for 3 hours. By the time I sat down to do some writing, I squeezed out 120 words, and that was it. I could physically construct no more sentences. This is very unlike me. With the many things I need to do for work, they are just piling up. Literally. My pile of student work to assess has piled up to approach nearly a metre. That is terrible, and means I am not communicating my students’ achievement to them satisfactorily. And also means that in about 8 weeks, when my major reports are due to be submitted, as yet I have no data to inform them. And let’s not even talk about how much I am slacking off in the leadership role that I took on earlier this year. My lessons are suffering, my students have slacked off a little in response to me not being on the ball, I’m stupidly irritable, whereas I was previously known for my unfaltering patience. In short, I’m not doing a very good job. My house is a mess, I have a pile of clean laundry that has been sitting on the couch for about 3 weeks.

Gah, that ended up being a big whinge. I’m just finding it hard, and hoping that the reported return of my energy in a bit over a month is not just a fairy tale.

The new signals (5w3d) March 29, 2012

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Aching back? = Sit down you fool, and have a drink of water.
Twingy cramps? = Didn’t you listen when I told you I was thirsty? Drink!!
Aching boobs? = Stop working late so you can get to the shops and buy a new bra!
Feeling sick? = Eat! More! Now!

Apparently my body seems to know what it wants. Hopefully that means it knows what to do as well.

I’m making the change from Crinone to Pessaries tomorrow. At $200 a week, there is no way I could continue that. Hopefully things stay stable.

This week has been tough – 10 hour work day, 14 hour work/uni day, 10 hour work day. Far too little sleep. Holidays next week will be bliss!!

2 weeks today until my scan!!

3356! (5w1d) March 27, 2012

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Beta #3 just came in – 3356! Progesterone has climbed nicely as well. Things are looking great! Still doubling at about the 36 hour mark, which is wonderfully reassuring.

I’ve had quite a lot of stretchy, pulling pain – nothing severe, just enough to make me notice my general abdominal area. It seems to be yet another reminder to drink more! (As if I’m not in the loo often enough as is!)

My WTEWYE app informs me this morning that bubs is the size of a sweet pea. I think I sense a new nickname coming on 🙂

About progesterone (4w6d) March 25, 2012

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The more I think about it, the more I believe that my first loss was due to a progesterone deficiency. My clinic’s protocol is to stop supplementation at day 16 after EPU – 4w2d. Last time, i stopped at 4+1, 2 days later I started bleeding. This time, I insisted on staying on it, and they let me. When I had the spotting at 4+1, they even recommended doubling the crinone dosage! My P4 levels on Friday were 35 (should be above 30) – so good, but not extremely high. This is with supplementation twice a day. I can only imagine what could have happened if I had stopped. With every clinic I can google recommending support throughout trimester one, at least until 10 weeks, WHY does my clinic stop people at 4?!?

A history of pee-sticks March 23, 2012

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8 days ago, I peed on a stick for the first time this cycle. This afternoon, I saw a sight I never thought I would see. A blazingly dark line, at least twice as dark as the control.

Happiness doesn’t begin to describe it!

Two Pink Lines March 17, 2012

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Fill me with immeasurable hope and joy.

Our Embabies March 13, 2012

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This is the beautiful blastocyst that i hope is currently snuggling in for a long ride. Her 2 siblings have been frozen into suspended animation, awaiting later decisions.

Starting again February 11, 2012

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I am now the proud owner of a frighteningly large bag of drugs. Synarel, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Crinone, in addition to the Metformin, Levlen, and vitamins… It’s time.