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The beginning of the end. December 11, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility.
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So I’m back at the hospital. Bleeding got worse, cramps got *bad*.

It’s almost officially non viable. Beta #4 was 114. Up a whopping 3 from yesterday, and 20 from the day before.
That’s under 120% in 48 hours.

I have to go the antenatal clinic this afternoon for a kick in the guts.

Ugh, just stop… December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF.
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***
Red, brown, red, brown, red, brown. It’s slowed down to be pretty watery, and my cramping is barely there, and often not. It’s so much like my period, it’s not funny.
***
The one thing I could cling to this morning, before I knew that it wasn’t a done deal, is that I had enjoyed the last few days so much.
***
When I got home tonight my grandma (who I live with) told me it was like history repeating. I have always known about the struggles my parents had.

6 pregnancies over ten years, 3 babies, 2 first birthdays. And then, at 33, she buried my dad. My little brother was 8 months old.

It changed my mum for life. How could it not?
***
What I didn’t know about until a few weeks ago, was my grandma’s 5th month pre-term labour. She calls it a miscarriage.
***
I apologise for the verbal diarrhoea. I still haven’t slept.
***
I’m scared about what I might wake up to.

Still pregnant, for now. December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF, Uncategorized.
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The official word is ‘threatened abortion, possible ectopic’. Too early to confirm via US, although there is a suggestion of an intrauterine gestational sac.

Repeat beta tomorrow.

“I’m very sorry, its not looking good for a continued pregnancy. But there is still a very small chance”

And that’s all I can cling to.