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Pure, sweet relief May 3, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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Our baby is fine. Perfectly happy wriggling away, with a lovely strong heartbeat of 167. No visible reason for the bleeding.
Seeing our baby move… Indescribable.
Thankyou God.

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10w3d, please let this be a scare May 3, 2012

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!.
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I’ve woken up bleeding. Not super heavy, mostly brown, no cramping at the moment. Please God let our baby be safe.

The beginning of the end. December 11, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility.
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So I’m back at the hospital. Bleeding got worse, cramps got *bad*.

It’s almost officially non viable. Beta #4 was 114. Up a whopping 3 from yesterday, and 20 from the day before.
That’s under 120% in 48 hours.

I have to go the antenatal clinic this afternoon for a kick in the guts.

Still ok December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF.
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Well it’s been about 12 hours since this nightmare started, and I’m still plodding along. I am still bleeding, but it has eased off to be much lighter, but still very red spotting. The cramping seems to have stopped. I got some much needed sleep.

I so want to believe that everything is ok. I desperately want to be one of those people that says ‘I had bleeding, and everything turned out fine’.

I desperately want to *not* be deluding myself.

Ugh, just stop… December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF.
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***
Red, brown, red, brown, red, brown. It’s slowed down to be pretty watery, and my cramping is barely there, and often not. It’s so much like my period, it’s not funny.
***
The one thing I could cling to this morning, before I knew that it wasn’t a done deal, is that I had enjoyed the last few days so much.
***
When I got home tonight my grandma (who I live with) told me it was like history repeating. I have always known about the struggles my parents had.

6 pregnancies over ten years, 3 babies, 2 first birthdays. And then, at 33, she buried my dad. My little brother was 8 months old.

It changed my mum for life. How could it not?
***
What I didn’t know about until a few weeks ago, was my grandma’s 5th month pre-term labour. She calls it a miscarriage.
***
I apologise for the verbal diarrhoea. I still haven’t slept.
***
I’m scared about what I might wake up to.

Still pregnant, for now. December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF, Uncategorized.
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The official word is ‘threatened abortion, possible ectopic’. Too early to confirm via US, although there is a suggestion of an intrauterine gestational sac.

Repeat beta tomorrow.

“I’m very sorry, its not looking good for a continued pregnancy. But there is still a very small chance”

And that’s all I can cling to.

Still waiting… December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF, Uncategorized.
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Still at the hospital. Have just an ultrasound, waiting for results.

Hcg is 111. Up only 17 in 23 hours. But still up.

All I know about my US is that the lining is still thick. Bleeding has slowed, cramping has stopped.

Hoping to get into the early pregnancy unit by 2:00.

About as bad as it could look December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF, Uncategorized.
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Bleeding got worse, at the hospital now.

It’s not looking good.

Waiting again.