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Distance September 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Art & Craft, Infertility, Latest Obesssions, Life, News and Drivel.
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I’ve had to take a bit of a break from the blog. I’m trying to find some perspective and balance…

I *think* we’ve decided to not do any more IUI’s, to go straight to IVF, as soon as we can afford it. If, however, we work out that we can’t do IVF this year, we will probably try another IUI or two, simply because they won’t cost us as much.

It is so wrong, that these decisions are dictated purely by finances.

There has been some promising news in the media this week.

The proposed changes to the Medicare Safety Net were heard in the senate, and thankfully were met with opposition. It will be another week before anything is decided.

Now that September has rolled around, and the Victorian joke legislation that enforces us all to have a Police Check before undergoing ART has become official (A fury-inducing side note: even if you had frozen embryos from a previous cycle, you would still need a police check before being allowed to do a transfer. What happens to the would-be-parents deemed ‘unsuitable for treatment’? What happens to their embryos??).

The media has FINALLY gotten a hold of this horrendous little piece of news, and is stirring up some attention, which is being received by the general public in exactly the way it should: incredulity and horror.



In my quest to find other things to focus on, I’ve pulled out the sewing machine. Its a great way to just zone out, and distract myself from life.

I have plenty of ideas, but I am plagued with self-doubt… I would love to set up an etsy shop, or even a craft-market stall.


I’ve set up another blog that will be dedicated to that little venture:

 Cute Crumples

I’ll be back…

Thursday! August 27, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility, Life, News and Drivel.
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When did that happen??

I truly do not know where the week has gone. I have had a series of days where it gets to 4pm and I suddenly realise that I haven’t even managed to get to the bathroom.

As far as the crazeh hormones go, I *finally* feel more like myself. AF was the longest it has ever been (7 full days), and I have been a mopey sad sack all week. Can’t imagine what bigger doses will do to me!

I’m not sure what our plan will be for the rest of the year. We’re going to do a dIUI cycle again next month (Sept-Oct) which gives us another chance the next month (Oct-Nov). The question is, will we be able to fit in an IVF this year? Do we skip the Oct-Nov IUI and go straight to IVF? (Can we even afford to do this??)

It seems so silly to have a deadline, but sadly our funds are (of course) heavily restricted, and knowing that we would get back 80% of our out of pocket expenses for IVF, and have some frosties (Please just go with my wishful thinking here) before the Medicare changes kick in in January, would be such a relief.


Does it mean I have truly gone loopy and pessimistic to have a plan B, C, and D?

3dpIUI – aka WTF are these “Symptoms”?!? August 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility, Latest Obesssions, News and Drivel.
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First a TMI alert.

  • Woke this morning, feeling quite nauseous. Sprayed myself with perfume, felt sick again
  • Digestively Eugh.
  • Still have very sore **s.
  • Came to work, walked into the classroom, I have super-smell! Someone was drawing with a permanent marker, and it again, made me feel ill.
  • I am incredibly tired.
  • The achiness has mostly gone.

If these are real, then I welcome them with open arms. If not, I wish they would bugger off and stop messing with my head.

11 days until AF is due.

2dpIUI August 9, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility, Life, News and Drivel.
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Bullet-pointy tonight.

2 days into the TWW, I’m coping ok.

Oddly symptomatic though. Of course my symptoms are related to being hormonal, and post ovulation, rather than anything else at this stage, but I have very sore bb’s, nips especially. I have cramps throughout my lower half. I had shocking heart burn yesterday morning. Keeping in mind I didn’t end up having the trigger, I find these strange.

I’m still hopeful. I have decided that I am going to test some time after the 17th. Beta is on the 24th.

My laptop crapped itself on Thursday. I will find out tomorrow what the verdict is, but at this stage it is looking like a busted hard drive. I hope I don’t remember anything irreplaceable when I get it back.

We went for a drive down the peninsula today. Being back there, for the first time since our wedding day, was very, very difficult. I have realised how much I hate the situation we are in at the moment. It’s not working, and I miss being that close to the beach.

We will wait and see.

D-Day August 8, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility, Uncategorized.
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I wasn’t really nervous yesterday morning. I knew that I had to go to work, and that that would take my mind off things.

Which it did, somewhat, but all I wanted to do was finish up for the week and get to where we needed to be.

Driving to pick up Mr G, I was caught in a torrential hail storm. I kept looking for signs…

At 12:34:56, it was the only time for 100 years that a date stamp would read 123456789. It was Zappy’s second birthday. This had to work. In the back of my mind, I think I was still worried that it would be cancelled.

Arriving at the clinic a few minutes early, We didn’t even have time to open a magazine before we were ushered into the little procedure room. I was instructed to get myself ready, while the nurse ran downstairs to collect the sample. Upon her return, she answered a few questions, then got ready to begin. Mr G. was by my side, holding my hand. He was torn between his curiosity, and simply not knowing what he should have been doing.

My concentration drifted, as it is wont to do at life changing moments, and I peered out between the drawn blinds, to the now brilliant sunshine, and the leafless branches of the trees. The magpies were choralling away, and my thoughts turned to the impending spring, and the potential for life inside those apparently barren stems. I kept looking for signs…

Go for Launch August 6, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility.
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All clear on the ultrasound, lead follie @ 18mm.
LH indicates spontaneous ovulation, so I don’t need to trigger.

IUI scheduled for 2:30 tomorrow. 07/08/09.

Lets hope its auspicious.

Here we go!

Waiting August 5, 2009

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I’m sure that others have written more, and more eloquently about the waiting aspect of an ART cycle.

But god it sucks.

I have waited for an initial consult, waited to be financially and mentally ready to start a cycle, waited for another appointment, waited for screening results, waited for nurse appointments, waited for blood test results, waited for ultrasound results, waited for my levels to rise appropriately, waited for the next pregnancy announcement to pull the rug out from underneath me again…

Right now I am waiting for tomorrow morning, when I will have the tests that confirm one of 4 things.

1. (Least desirable) – I have already ovulated. Cycle Cancelled

2. (Actually, just as undesirable) – I have overstimulated. Cycle Cancelled.

4. (Ok, but frustrating nonetheless) – not quite ready, keep stimming.

3. (Please!!) Ready to trigger.

I’ll let you know this time tomorrow.

I am sitting here with heavy ovaries (interesting to now be aware that *that* is what that feeling is. I’m terrified.

I feel like I’m caught in an IF no-man’s land. I knew the first time I slept with my DH, that there was no chance that it would ever lead to a pregnancy. I knew then that we were infertile.

I still hoped.

This August marks two years since I first cried at a negative HPT.

One year since I was so, so sure that ‘this one’ would be positive.

If number 4 eventuates, IUI will be Saturday morning. That takes the TWW out to the 22nd.

I’d really like a reason to like August.