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2dpIUI August 9, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Infertility, Life, News and Drivel.
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Bullet-pointy tonight.

2 days into the TWW, I’m coping ok.

Oddly symptomatic though. Of course my symptoms are related to being hormonal, and post ovulation, rather than anything else at this stage, but I have very sore bb’s, nips especially. I have cramps throughout my lower half. I had shocking heart burn yesterday morning. Keeping in mind I didn’t end up having the trigger, I find these strange.

I’m still hopeful. I have decided that I am going to test some time after the 17th. Beta is on the 24th.

My laptop crapped itself on Thursday. I will find out tomorrow what the verdict is, but at this stage it is looking like a busted hard drive. I hope I don’t remember anything irreplaceable when I get it back.

We went for a drive down the peninsula today. Being back there, for the first time since our wedding day, was very, very difficult. I have realised how much I hate the situation we are in at the moment. It’s not working, and I miss being that close to the beach.

We will wait and see.

Our Wedding Day April 14, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Uncategorized.
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After having the last week of term off school, I was feeling relaxed and excited. I had had my hair, nails, tan and waxing done, my scalp had miraculously cleared up, and I had managed to stay blemish free – was feeling good!

I had spent Saturday finishing packing, both for Sunday and for our honeymoon.

Saturday afternoon, A&R came to pick up Mr G, who drove R to Portsea where they stayed the night. I hadn’t eaten anything – Was too busy! Mr & Mrs Yellow came to pick me up in the statesman. The Rye house was a pleasant surprise – heaps of room for everyone! We spent the evening chatting, primping and preening, then went out to dinner. When we returned, more preening ensued, I had a bit of a panic after running out of hot water just after my shower, but R managed to fix the system. M did her nails, I did Mrs Yellow’s. Finally dozed off about midnight, only to awake at 3am to Mr Yellow snoring. Laid awake, trying to get back to sleep. Mrs Yellow’s phone went off at 4am because she had mucked up the daylight savings change over. I got up “for a drink”, hoping to be able to go out and sit on the couch. I realised, after walking into the heater loudly, and bumping into R, that M was asleep on the couch, so I would have to head back to bed. Walking back, I heard Mum whispering to D. I chatted to her for a bit, but was conscious of not waking A. I sat out on the couch for a while, and write a note in my phone: Its 4am, and I am sitting here awake, having managed to wake up about 5 other people. I get married today!

By 5, people were up and about. I had a shower, then Janine arrived at 6. I was worried Deanne was going to be late, but she got there after about 15 minutes, having also mucked up the DST changeover. My hair was set, then our makeup was done. People gradually started getting dressed. Once my makeup was finished, I had my hair finished off. Unbelievably it was 9′oclock!

Jayne arrived just as I was saying “the photographer will be here in half an hour”. I was time to get dressed  Grandma and Mrs Yellow helped me into my dress. R was being a pain with his camera, pretending to try to follow people into the bathroom, and up my dress as I was putting on my shoes and garter.

Anyway, the flowers arrived, made Mum cry. A arrived with C to get the boys’ flowers and Mr G’s note.

M had arrived in the car without me realising,  finally I took note though, because I had been worried he was running late!

We had a few photos taken. I got a mark on my dress and the baby wipes I used to try cleaning it left a big white mark! Ah well. D was being really sweet, kept offering me water. We had been told to tell Corinne when we were leaving, so A rang and was told that not everyone was there, so we had to wait. The weather was just perfect at this point, after having looked quite threatening all morning, I just wanted to get going.

The trip down was surreal. The sky was too bright, like it knew that it couldn’t hold the weather back for long. The bay was as sparkly as I knew it would be.

When we arrived we had some videos taken, then we went into the foyer, spoke with Corinne and had a drink. We then walked up the stairs to the Nepean room, and waited for the music to start.

Everyone was there! I could see Rachel, Glenn, Sally, Phil, Nick & Ben. It hit me – this is really happening!

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn’t fear
For I’ve never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still in my heart this moment
Or it might burst
Could we stay right here
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning
Want to love you until the seas run dry
I’ve found the one I’ve waited for

All this time I’ve loved you
And never known your face
All this time I’ve missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
Want to stay right here
Until the end of time
til the earth stops turning
Going to love you until the seas run dry
I’ve found the one I’ve waited for

The one I’ve waited for

All I’ve known
All I’ve done
All I’ve felt was leading to this
All I’ve known
All I’ve done
All I’ve felt was leading to this
Want to stay right here
til the end of time till the earth stops turning
I’m going to love you till the seas run dry
I’ve found the one I’ve waited for
The one I’ve waited for
The one I’ve waited for

Want to stay right here
til the end of time till the earth stops turning
I’m going to love you till the seas run dry
I’ve found the one I’ve waited for
The one I’ve waited for
The one I’ve waited for

As I rounded the corner, I locked eyes with Mr G, who burst into tears. He looked gorgeous, and so fragile! I wanted to run and give him a big hug. D walked me to the end, and I forgot what was supposed to happen next, I thought we were supposed to wait for Corinne. Douglas shook Mr G, kissed me on the cheek, and I took Mr G’s hands. It was incredibly emotional. I wish I could remember what he said to me.

It was cold and windy, but so far, dry. Corinne had written a beautiful ceremony. Grandma read…

To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one’s inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon’s own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.

When I heard the reading we had chosen for our ring exchange, I couldn’t hold back the tears.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love, that hold yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other all the days of your lives.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look in each other’s eyes, eyes that are filled completely with overwhelming love and desire.
These are the hands that will work along side yours as you build your future together, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and soothe you like no other.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you struggle, and support and encouragement to chase your dreams.
These are the hands that will wipe tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled with age, will be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realised.

Ingrid read…

… live your lives with passion, compassion & excitement. Play, dance and share in life’s long journey…  make footprints in the sand, sail in the gentleness of the winds, climb mountains together, laugh together, cry together and smile often. Make life magical and extraordinary, be happy, be silly, and rejoice in life’s beauty from now on and into all of your tomorrows. You will be partners in love for life, remembering while sailing on the great ocean of marriage to always be one other’s best friend.

We then signed the registry, and it started to rain a bit. Then we were announced as Mr and Mrs G! We walked back up the aisle under the umbrellas, people gave me good luck charms, and J chucked a handful of rose petals down the front of my dress – sayingthis is for Mr G, for later”. Corinne told me that there were a few spots on our certificate, but I didn’t care. Everyone came for kisses and cuddles. Rich said “Welcome to the family!”

We had photos, then everyone went for canapes, which I am told were amazing. We headed down to the beach for photos. Shoes off, then photo time. I sat down in the sand, and walked through the waves. Everyone was laughing and having fun.

The rain started and stopped, then it started pelting. Everyone except Chris left Mr G and I with the umbrella, and ran inside!

We had a few photos done inside the hotel, then Rod suggested going back outside again. I’m glad we did – we got some amazing photos down on the rocks.

When we came back in, we had a few glasses of bubbly, then it was time to head up to the reception.

We were presented to our guests. When we sat down, the sun was streaming in on us! The food was amazing. I had the salmon / chicken terrine / pastry. Our dance was excellent, Mr G sang all the way through it.

The speeches were beautiful, and made me cry. During dessert, I was trying to speak to everyone and eat at the same time – Fail! At some point, a helicopter came in and winched someone out of the water – great excitement. The band was the perfect Sunday afternoon sound that we were after.

When we had the leaving circle, I bawled again, saying thankyou to everyone special.

We went downstairs, back into the car, and my veil blew clean off! It felt like a fitting end to our day.

Mr and Mrs Yellow drove us up to Arthur’s Seat, and I had to ring for the code to the locks. Once we were inside – Phwoar! *Stunning* views out over the bay, a spa, king sixed bed and gigantic couch.

We said goodbye to M&M yellow, then I had to get out of my dress. I was really quit sad, because I knew that I would never get to have a day like that one ever again.

Once I was comfortable, we went and sat on the couch, ate some cake, and drank champagne. I gave Mr G his present, and took out my hair. A spa was the perfect end to our beautiful day.

About to go all wedding, all time March 17, 2008

Posted by Natasha in Wedding.
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Ok, so I haven’t posted in ages.

I know, I suck.

Im just not cut out to be one of those people who blogs every day. I could, if you know, I had just a tiny bit more motivation than I do. I’m just inherently lazy.

One thing I have been doing lots of lately, other than work, because my goodness, there has been work; is wedding stuff.

Now I know our wedding isn’t until April 5th next year (Yes, more than a year away still), but, I’m excited (Funnily enough)! I spend hours every week trawling the internet (or teh intertubes, or whatever) browsing through wedding stuff, and making decisions I probably don’t really need to make for another 6 months.

Progress at the moment looks like this

The Dress.

I have my dress! I actually picked it up ridiculously cheap only a few weeks after we got engaged. I happened to be browsing in Noni B, and they had their post-Christmas sale on, including their formal wear. I was rifling through racks, which included white dresses, and thought, oh that looks quite nice, wonder what size it is! – Long story short, it was the right size (for now), a good length (just) and suited me nicely. And the price!

The dress is really quite lovely, albeit plain. I do like it, but I do occasionally have second thoughts. Especially since trying on a Wow dress a few weeks ago. Bad move. The Wow dress is around 3 times as much as mine, for hire. 10 times as much to buy it. So, ouch. (although, its still classes as a cheap dress. Yes, mine was that cheap.) I think if it had a train, I would be a lot more in love with it. Maybe I can get it altered.

I also have my veil, that arrived today, courtesy of E-bay! Of all places! It really is gorgeous, fingertip length (even on me!), satin edged, with little clear beads stitched randomly near the edges. Again, heaps cheaper than the $160 concoctions in stores.

As far as apparel goes, that’s it.

But we do have a venue!

We only looked at one venue before deciding where we wanted to have our reception. On a warm sunny day, the weekend before Christmas, we went for a cruise down the peninsula. I think it was an unspoken agreement that Mr G and I would get married somewhere near the beach, even before we got to Portsea. I suggested we check out the Portsea Hotel, and we fell in love with it instantly. We’re having it upstairs, on the Portsea Deck, which looks out onto the beach and bay, around to the point. Absolutely stunning. We tossed up where to have our ceremony, thinking for a while that we were going to have it actually on the beach, but the hotel’s excellent function coordinator talked us out of it. We’re now getting married on the lawns, with the same view as the Deck.

We have also chosen a photographer, though we haven’t made any deposits yet. We are going to get Jayne from Brighteyes photography to take our photos. She has a package that suits us perfectly, and for half the price we budgeted for.

In addition, we have confirmed our celebrant, and will be meeting with her as soon as we both get our birth certificates organised, to fill in the notice of intention to marry (Wooo!).

Now the big remaining decisions are:

Flowers

Bridesmaids dresses

Cake

The Honeymoon (When? Where? What?)

Cars (To have or not to have – at this stage going with not)

plus about a million other decisions.

Excitingly, it looks like I now have somewhere to stay the night before the wedding! Auntie J’s neighbour has a holiday house in Rye, which sleeps 10!

Means that all the people I want there the night before can be there, and gives us a place to ‘leave’ from!

Can you tell I’m excited?!

Now if I could just bloody well shrink (probably would be helped by me getting off my butt now and then) I’d be really on the way to being sorted!