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Still ok December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF.
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Well it’s been about 12 hours since this nightmare started, and I’m still plodding along. I am still bleeding, but it has eased off to be much lighter, but still very red spotting. The cramping seems to have stopped. I got some much needed sleep.

I so want to believe that everything is ok. I desperately want to be one of those people that says ‘I had bleeding, and everything turned out fine’.

I desperately want to *not* be deluding myself.

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Ugh, just stop… December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF.
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***
Red, brown, red, brown, red, brown. It’s slowed down to be pretty watery, and my cramping is barely there, and often not. It’s so much like my period, it’s not funny.
***
The one thing I could cling to this morning, before I knew that it wasn’t a done deal, is that I had enjoyed the last few days so much.
***
When I got home tonight my grandma (who I live with) told me it was like history repeating. I have always known about the struggles my parents had.

6 pregnancies over ten years, 3 babies, 2 first birthdays. And then, at 33, she buried my dad. My little brother was 8 months old.

It changed my mum for life. How could it not?
***
What I didn’t know about until a few weeks ago, was my grandma’s 5th month pre-term labour. She calls it a miscarriage.
***
I apologise for the verbal diarrhoea. I still haven’t slept.
***
I’m scared about what I might wake up to.

Still pregnant, for now. December 10, 2009

Posted by Natasha in Finally Pregnant!, Infertility, IVF, Uncategorized.
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The official word is ‘threatened abortion, possible ectopic’. Too early to confirm via US, although there is a suggestion of an intrauterine gestational sac.

Repeat beta tomorrow.

“I’m very sorry, its not looking good for a continued pregnancy. But there is still a very small chance”

And that’s all I can cling to.